Crystal Fallace
The Crystal Penis: 1405-the war

Crystal Fallace (a.k.a. Crystal Penis) is a large field located above Anally with some surrounding shops that no one ever enters. It got it's name from the huge glass building known as the Crystal Fallace (or Penis depending on how ghey you are) which contrary to Scott Baker belief actually burnt down at least 100 years ago during the war. Aparently the invalid builders of the 12th century thought it'd be a good idea to construct a whole building out of a highly flammable material and stick it together with shit. Thus its inevitable doom was inevitable unless you'd lived under a rock for over 9000 years. The whole of the Crystal Fallace centre is actually a triangle, which Mr. Lawrence calculated to have a ┬▒sin2.79592 angle at Noodle Time.


Morleys is the bird flu infested chicken shwop on Fallace High Street. It is here that Amal indulges on his secret Chicken fetish before heading across the road to the Library to rape some little kids in the junior section. If you choose to eat here, you have proved to teh universe that you are an invalid, as any decent human being would prefer to eat a combination of greasy aids, dinosaur balls sacks, yellow toenails and diseased wheelchairs than this piece of fail.

Budgets (also known as Budgens) is a wooden shack opposite Morleypoos. The food it sells is so budget it barely passes for an actual shop. Amal frequently complains about the overpriced plastic donuts they sell there. Much to the disapointment of many Wartdogs.

Fallace Library
Originally built as a way for to store shit novels but more recently used by Amals everywhere as a way to get free little kids who wander innocently into the junior section. It is a known fact that all staff in this library are trolls.

Fallace Bus Station
Resting place of the Brute after it's long expedition from Bollington. Many fiends attempt to meet up here for various events however 99% of them turn up late, in a different place or not at all. There is also a mens toilet made of chrome and neon. It is believed to have caused over 9000 seizures and mind rapes.

All hail Mind-Rape Tower!

Mind-rape Tower
Crystal Fallace Tower is the lord and master of everything in the region. It transmits mind control signals at a super high frequency that only tramps and invalids can hear. Some believe that these mind raping radio waves are what caused the 410 to become the Brute that we know today after it went clynically insane from absorbing over 9000 hours of mindrape every day.

Drivving in teh Park

It has recently been discovered that Crystal Fallace used to be home to the most 1337 drivvers this side of the border. During the war drivvers would come here to show off their epic amounts of Win, before the place was invaded by invalid learners and automatics.

If you look closely you can see the spot where several sixth
formers come to fail at lunchtime.

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