Gheydon before it was raped by the Duel-Carriageway Federation

Gheydon is a South London slum, mostly inhabited by chavs, invalids and the occasional dog. It generates roughly 500 metric tonnes of fail a day, with an increased output of over 9000% on weekends. Despite this, many fiends feel it necessary to go for teh shops. Parking in Gheydon is significantly easy, given you're a millionaire and are ready to pay upwards of £300 for under one nanosecond of parking. Due to this, Gheydon is seen as an insult to any drivver with dignity. A recent poll asked an assortment of furries to designate which place failed more: Gheydon or South Norwood; and the result pointed to a draw with each town receiving nobodycares%.

Since technically Gheydon is just one big shopping centre of fail, it requires it's own system of transport in order for people to get from Drivver Island all the way to Ocks & Spencers. This is known as Gheydon Tramlonk. Some invalids also consider venturing to Prett A Mongay for food but are blissfully unaware that it doesn't actually sell any kind of edable substances at all. "Leaves in a Bowl" does not count for substanence. Alternatively, shoppers could eat at a slug dwelling known as Subgay, however it is not recommended due to his vomit-inducing ingredients, non existant kitchen (all 'food' is prepared in the Arabian waiter's pants) and overall -ve win.

Relation to Binnicles

Various reportings of Binnicles have actually been spotted within the general area, and Gheydon Town Centre has a current Ock reading of 7.5, with 10 being the lethal dose which will kill teh universe. Croydon Council has been predictably shit in dealing with the problem, instead resorting to plucking each other's eyebrows and knitting homemade tracksuits from duck feathers. The Scientific Institute for Binnock Ock has described Gheydon as a "hotspot for Ocktual activities" and "an overall ghey place to ever be seen in."

No you can't escape. Not ever.

Drivving in Gheydon

Many have attempted to drivv in Gheydon but the chances of survival are as low as -9000%. The traffic system in Gheydon was designed by Chief Lord and Master of Gheydon Mr. Nestle and consists of two core elements.

The Quadruple Carriageway of Death
When a drivver first enters Gheydon they face the first challenge of tackling the 50 lane interchanging Muel-Carriageways of death. The system was specificly designed to kill off as many motorists as possible in the pursuit of epic lulz for all the furrys at Gheydon College. Many invalids take bets on how many lives will be lost by the end of the day.

The Backstreet Maze of Doom
If one takes on the Duel-Carriagwocks of Death and comes out alive (which is high unlikely) they must then face the most challenging and fail consumed part of Gheydon roadways a.k.a. The Backstreet Maze of Doom. It consists of over 9000 one-way systems and has no known exit. 99% of drivvers who enter the Maze never get out. They just keep going round and round until they die of starvation and/or run out of petrol. Gheydon's private failcopter is then sent to dispose of the body and transport the divvmobile to the nearest scrapyard.

It is strongly advised never to try and drivv through Gheydon even if only to get to Girly Way. Instead it is advised that people travel in safety using only the Brute (or the 468 rat if apsolutely necessary)

Shops located in Gheydon

  • Drivver Island
  • Ocks & Spencers
  • HMFiend
  • Chavvi (now closed)
  • H&Men
  • Glintons
  • Irktons
  • GayD Sports
  • GheyGheyB Sports
  • WH Shits
  • Boots
  • Body Ock
  • milesbakerClarks
  • Furrys Digital
  • Foot Ocker
  • Holland & Faggit
  • Poundland
  • Failsbury's
  • Suits Jew
  • Chav World
  • TopOck
  • The Binoculars Club
  • Quarterbones
  • The 1337 Store

Places to eat

  • Prett a Mongay
  • Subgay
  • Shakeaghey
  • Invalid Hut
  • Arsebucks
  • Ocksta Coffee
  • Various mooseagents
Granmericus License V2