The molecular structure of ock matter

Ock (also known as ock-ock) is the substance generated in the event of binnicles. At low levels it is considered harmless but once high levels of ock are detected it can be potentially lethal to human beings and wartdogs alike. It was discoveed by 358 Quasheem and 410 Kareem at least 100 years ago after the first act of binnacles was believed to have took place. The two professors took a sample of the strange new product that has been released into the atmosphere to physics expert N.E.A.1. where it was given the appropiate name of OCK. Since then the Scientific Institute for Binnock-ock has been established solely to understand this new phenomenon and keep the public safe from ock.

Measuring Ock

Thanks to recent advancements in scientific technology, scientists have now discovered a way of detecting and measuring levels of Ock in a given vicinity. On the 13th May 2009 Professor Key and Dr. Kareem published a theoretical equation for measuring the amount of ock given several variables:

\begin{equation} Oc = (1/d) * t \end{equation}


  • Oc = ock
  • d = distance between elements A and B
  • t = body temperture

The equation shows the level of ock being directly inproportionate to the distance between elements A and B and also being amplified by body temperture as a result of bodily contact. This has come to be known as Ocks Law

Detecting Ock

For centuries detecting ock has been performed by simply responding to visual clues in the area. Since the presence of ock has always been so bait it can be detected from over 9000 miles away there has never been the need for developing ock detection technologies. However recently the Scientific Institute for Binnock-Ock have announced they are working on an electonic device that can scan for ock and give accurate readings of it's danger level. Coded-named the Ockometre.

Places where Ock has been detected

Currently, the highest ock levels remain in South Norwood, where the world nearly collapses at the end of each day, followed by Harris Ockademy. Other places that have induced the wrath of ock include Gheydon, Ock City, Crystal Fallace, Girly Way and Anally. This does not however give as evidence towards why these places suck so much balls.

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